When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Reticulated Pythons

Alas, poor Akbar Salubiro. Akbar went out harvesting, but never returned to his Indonesian village. His friends began to retrace his steps, beginning at his back door. But what they saw from there told them they did not need to go far.

Village secretary Salubiro Junaidi said: “People had heard cries from the palm grove the night before Akbar was found in the snake’s stomach.

“When the snake was captured, the boots Akbar was wearing were clearly visible in the stomach of the snake.

“Resident cut open the belly of the snake and Akbar was lifeless.”

Reticulated pythons are boa constrictors that suffocate their victims before swallowing them whole.

via Body of man swallowed whole by monster 7m-long python is cut from its stomach by horrified villagers – Mirror Online.

What a way to go!

Locals gathered round as one man used an 18-inch long hunting knife to slice open the serpent – and found Akbar inside still in tact.

The 25-year-old was still wearing welly boots, short and t-shirt when he was found inside the animal – which was sprawled out in his back garden.

Incredible footage shows the corpse being slowly removed from the killer reptile as the leathery skin is peeled away.

Neighbour Satriawan – who knew Akbar – said: “He was found in the location of the garden.

“Initially Akbar set out from his home to go to harvest palm, after not returning to his home people looked for him.

Well, at least they managed to recover his body for a decent burial, rather than have him eternally a town mystery disappearance… while providing enough of a meal for the snake that the beastly thing’d want another villager in another month.

16 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Reticulated Pythons

    1. John M.

      From the sounds of things, they are Muslim. Snakes are haram.

      Also: What an awful way to go. I don’t think I’d much care after the fact, but I’d rather be eaten by a respectable mammal like a bear or even a wolf than be eaten by a low-down belly-dragging snake.

      -John M.

  1. LFMayor

    Generations of young monkeys had been frightened into good behavior with stories of Kaa. Kaa, who could creep as silently as moss grows, and steal away the strongest monkey that ever lived

    1. John M.

      This fellow went to cut palm. I doubt he only brought a toothpick. I’m guessing the snake surprised him. Or maybe he passed out drunk in his backyard.

      -John M.

  2. Kirk

    As a note, the constrictor snakes do not kill by way of suffocation. The actual mechanism was recently found to be vagal constriction, in that the mass of the snake wrapped around your body and squeezing uniformly screws up your heart and blood circulation.

    Not much difference, really, but I thought it was interesting that we’ve only just discovered that the mechanism isn’t quite what we thought it was…

    1. Mike_C

      >actual mechanism was recently found to be vagal constriction,
      Huh? Gee, thanks, Kirk. I had things to do today, but foresee a “lit search” probably topped off by an extended wiki wander. Sigh.

      1. Kirk

        I should have included the link…


        Amazes me how much stuff is still out there to be learned, but then again… Who really cares about the difference between suffocation and this mechanism? Only the sort of people that like to be able to say, as the Soviet tanks are overrunning the position, that “They’re T-64s, not T-72s, LT! Lookit the road wheels! See there’s no vee-shaped spashboard on the glacis plate…”.

        And, yes, I was That Guy(TM).

  3. Aesop

    Nagini: not just a fictional character.

    One of my neighbors growing up had a large python, kept in the backyard in a pen.

    After a number of multiple neighbor’s cats disappeared mysteriously, said yard pet was sighted with a suspiciously cat-sized lump making its way down the python’s alimentary tract.

    Within a day or two of the discovery, the python died mysteriously one night of blunt force trauma, suspiciously suggestive of multiple Louisville slugger impacts to the head.

    Damnedest case of a poltergeist I’ve ever seen, and the odd duck owner elected to abruptly move out of Dodge for undisclosed reasons shortly afterwards.

    1. Kirk

      My favorite children’s book was always that magnificent collaboration between Sven Hassel and Beatrix Potter, Peter Rabbit: Tank Killer.

      Highly educational, and filled with accurate truths about wildlife and tank hunting in the English countryside…

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