Ah, those Englishmen. Gotta have their tea, even if they just got a call “See the woman, possible suicide.”
After the wild tea parties were over, the woman was found.
Worse, the tea came from that suspicious Colonial tea vendor, Mickey D’s. What manner of Londoners were these strange rozzers?
Two police officers who went to McDonald’s to buy a cup of tea before responding to a suicide call have been allowed to keep their jobs.
Well, you really don’t want to have the tea after the call, do you? (And especially the biscuits… especially after some of the riper suicides).
PC Gavin Bateman and Tony Stephenson had received a call, graded ‘significant’ by the Met, shortly after midnight on April 16.
But rather than head straight to the home of a woman in Poplar, east London, deemed vulnerable by the London Ambulance Service, they waited 24 minutes before heading there.
Instead, the pair drove to the local fast food restaurant to pick up some refreshments and complete ‘administrative tasks’ before continuing with the call, a misconduct panel heard.
But by the time they reached the woman’s house, almost 40 minutes after a friend had called 999 when she received a suicidal text from the woman, the 22-year-old was found dead.
Yet today a Metropolitan Police disciplinary hearing gave the two police officers written warnings after they admitted misconduct but denied gross misconduct.
Amy Clarke, representing the Met, told the hearing: ‘The call was graded ‘S’, meaning significant, the more significant grading is ‘I’ which means the officer has to attend immediately.
‘PC Stephenson confirmed to the contact centre that they had accepted that call and that they were en route, that was at 00.03.
‘The CAD (dispatch system) went through to the vehicle so the officers could read the details which said ‘police requested for psychotic illness, significant risk to herself or others.
Anyone who has ever dealt with a Crazy Lady, copper or not, ought to know that fortifying oneself with the caffeinated beverage of choice beforehand is probably a good idea, and in most cases you will be facing an unpleasant but not life-consequential experience.
‘The officers decided not to proceed straight to the address and went to a nearby McDonald’s where they purchased refreshments before driving to a roundabout where they drank their drinks.
‘At 12.37 the officer’s left and went to [the woman’s] address.
Let’s not lose sight of the fact that the officers didn’t kill her. Loon killed her self. It is quite difficult to keep a determined suicide from whacking him- or herself; it’s still worth trying, but the failure here is not the officers’. We think the verdict of “negligence deserving reprimand, not gross neg demanding firing” is just about right.
One last thing: if you get a text from a suicidal friend, maybe you’d better not count on Teh Authoritah to go to the friend’s aid.