When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Baptismal Pools

Meet Gerardo Ordaz, who’s the Father of the Year, if anybody can ever sort out his Spanish-Language statement. He’s one of those immigrants that come here to inculcate family values in all you cold-hearted blue-eyed devils. (Actually if his name runs true to Mexican and Central American form, he could be Gerardo Mendoza. If that’s his real name and not just the usual alias on one of his Matriculas Consular). The NY Post:

Gerardo Mendoza Ordaz, 42, of Healdsburg, was heard yelling in the parking lot outside the Healdsburg Police Department headquarters at about 8:30 p.m. Sunday. Responding officers found a naked Ordaz holding his unresponsive, clothed and soaking wet daughter. She was rushed to a hospital, but did not survive, police told The Post.

A bare-ass man yelling at cops, holding a soaked and cold-graveyard-dead daughter. There’s a story in that, but it’s not going to be a happy one.

An autopsy has been scheduled, but investigators believe the girl was drowned intentionally, Healdsburg Police Chief Kevin Burke told reporters during a press conference Monday.

Burke said investigators believe Ordaz took his daughter and his 9-year-old son into the unlocked St. John the Baptist Church hours earlier, when they were believed to be the only people inside. Lt. Matt Jenkins told the Press Democrat that Ordaz, while accompanied by his son, submerged his daughter in the 1- to 2-feet-deep baptismal pool inside the church. The boy did not appear to have been harmed.

Which Press Democrat? Isn’t that all of ’em? That doesn’t narrow it down at all. Oh, wait, The “Press Democrat” is a paper out of Mendocino, California. It’s not just some generic press Democrat.

Ordaz gave investigators a detailed statement in Spanish, but Burke declined to elaborate or to discuss a motive for the alleged killing. Burke said Ordaz and his wife lived with their four children just outside Healdsburg, a town of roughly 11,000 residents about 75 miles west of Sacramento

The Press Democrat let the story drop and hasn’t followed it up, or you might say it pressed it into a baptismal font until it stopped struggling. If you’re a journalist in 2016, that’s what you do. 

16 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Baptismal Pools

  1. John M.

    Incomplete sentence alert:
    “Which Press Democrat? Isn’t that all of ’em? That doesn’t narrow it down at all. Oh, wait, The “Press Democrat” is a paper out of”

    -John M.

  2. Tom Stone

    The PD is published in Santa Rosa CA, Sonoma County not Mendo.
    It is ( May God help me) my local paper of record and it would have to improve substantially to become merely awful.
    I have on two occasions dropped important stories in the lap of their Real Estate reporter (Fraud cases. Here’s what’s going on, here’s who you can talk to, here’s the paper trail) and nothing happened.
    Their reporters are all innumerate, marginally literate at best and they can all be bought with a hotdog and a coke.
    It’s an integral part of the local political machine.
    It is useful for wrapping fish (Rockfish and crab right now) and starting a fire in the woodstove, that’s it.

    1. Hognose Post author

      The masthead said Mendacious-cino when I checked. Maybe they got foreclosed on in the old place?

      ETA: Seafood is good, but the people at the paper probably think it’s evil “extractive industry.”

      “Did you ever consider the feelings of the crabs?

      “Nope, but their taste is of great concern to me.”

      1. Tom Stone

        Hognose, I eat a fair amount of game and quite a bit of seafood that’s locally sourced ( By myself and friends).
        Every once in a while someone tries to give me some shit about it and I have several riffs I can lay on them, the one I use depends on the number of crystals and tattoos they have.
        One is polite. one is a bit sarcastic and rude, and I have yet to finish the last one because the party I was speaking to has left the area at some speed with their ass on fire.

    2. Loren

      “I have on two occasions dropped important stories in the lap of their Real Estate reporter (Fraud cases. Here’s what’s going on, here’s who you can talk to, here’s the paper trail) and nothing happened.”
      Real estate reporter = Advertising Dept. What did you expect? There’s never any bad news in that section of the paper. As in “a downturn is more affordable housing.”

      1. Tom Stone

        Loren, we’re past the peak prices in the SF Bay Area.
        It’s going to be an interesting correction with some areas getting hit a lot harder than others ( High end SF Condo prices are going to take an asswhupping).

        1. Loren

          Not to mention high rise condos sinking into the mud at uneven rates. I wonder what genius decided foundations didn’t need to be in bedrock?
          Want to bet the lawyer’s bill will be higher than the mudjacking bill?
          Grizzlies in Marin and Sonoma? MS13 would be more effective. Sanctuary counties and all that.
          I do like the way you think though.

  3. Tom Stone

    It might amuse some here to learn that my polite riff starts off with talking about “Nature’s Balance” and ends with an impassioned plea to restore Grizzly Bears to Marin and Sonoma Counties.
    I get happy nods at he beginning…

    1. John M.

      I’m surprised the folks you talk to have even a vague idea what grizzly/human interactions look like. Maybe you help them out with that.

      -John M.

  4. Simon

    We could stipulate the use of buoyancy aids and then form a group to study the failure of these common-sense regulations to change anything.

    1. Mike_C

      A wonderful dream — but only a dream. Because Evil Republicans on the take from the Koch brothers would block adequate funding to the CDC.

  5. Videodrone

    Former congressman Bosco who is co-owner of the Santa Rosa Press Democrat is also in charge of the North Coast Railroad Authority (NCRA, aka the Democratic Party of California Railroad) who years ago lost a bunch of rolling stock between two washouts along the Eel River – uninsured so, there is a continuing charge for the rail cars that are still sitting there!

    Lately he’s been parking propane tanks in residential areas – check out

    hint, the PD is not a news paper

  6. Aesop

    Nothing to see here.
    Just some of the local Diversity, killing the anchor babies Americans won’t kill.

    The upside of the loss of an innocent 4-year old girl is that’s seven less second-gen offspring thereabouts in 12-18 years.
    And unless, against all likelihood, there’s some actual criminal conviction, the baby-mama will replace the loss in due course in a few months.

    With the recent spate of idiot-bait propositions recently passed by the illiterate hereabouts, if he can demonstrate that she went into the pool voluntarily, it’s not even a “crime of violence”, just misdemeanor bad lifesaving, and he’d be out by the time the verdict was returned. Hand to God on that, no hyperbole whatsoever.

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