When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Facebook Selfies

flamethrowerOK, the guy didn’t kill anybody, but he’s a suspect in dozens of fires that have burned tens of thousands of acres. And accused arsonist Johnny Mullins, 21, did it to draw “likes” to his Facebook page. 

Man, that’s a hard way to promote yourself on social media. He won’t be making FB updates, where he’s going. To wit, Crowbar Motel.

“It’s really too bad because he’s not a bad kid — he’s just misguided,” said James Stephens, the police chief in Jenkins, Kentucky, where Johnny Mullins, 21, was arrested this week on a second-degree arson charge.

If Johnny’s “not a bad kid,” can you imagine the kind of yout’ that Chief Stephens’s unfortunate deputies have to deal with on a daily basis? It’s only blind luck that the only dead are plants and wildlife.

“He likes to do Facebook videos and have people follow him on his ‘weather forecast,’ so that’s pretty much why he did what he did,” the chief said. “He enjoyed the attention he got from the Facebook stuff.”

“He didn’t realize how much danger he was putting other people in,” Stephens added.

What? Can you start a fire without thinking you’re doing something dangerous? On what planet?

A teenager in Harlan County, Kentucky also was arrested for arson this week, and in Tennessee, authorities said Friday that Andrew Scott Lewis was charged with setting fires and vandalism causing more than $250,000 in damage and threatening homes outside Chattanooga.

What is it with kids in Kentucky? Read The Whole Thing™. Another kid was busted for arson there, but is not named because he’s a juvenile. A third arsonist, 19-year-old Andrew Scott Lewis of Harlan County, Tennessee, was also arrested in connection with a series of fires near Chattanooga, but his motivation is unknown. How the dozens of unsolved arsons break down between Mullins, Lewis, the kid, and possible unknown parties is also unknown.

Didn’t their mommas tell them that “Playing with fire” has its own whole category in the National Registry of Bad Ideas®?

13 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Facebook Selfies

  1. LFMayor

    Obviously this is lag effect from those Beavis and Butthead cartoons they pulled from view for glamorizing pyromania.
    Anything but personal accountability.

    And wouldn’t it be great if this good kid got the good chiefs daughter inoculated! We can blame rap Muzak for that. Or reruns of The Waltons.

    1. Hognose Post author

      Oh, we have an expiring, uh, aspiring, but expired, rapper in the bank for one of these WGAO posts. But it can’t be anything thematic in the music.

  2. C Otto

    My brother is currently in NC fighting some of the fires over there and he was saying that all those fires out east are all arson caused fires. If i recall correctly, the last time that there were this many wildfire back east was back in the 90’s and were also a string of arson related fires. But it odd how they all came out of the woodwork at once…

  3. Keith

    Slight typo here sir “yout’ that.” There are several fires burning in the south east because of the lack of rain and human stupidity.

    1. Tim, '80s Mech Guy

      True, in North Metro ATL it has not rained but once since probably the end of May. Smaller fires, usually “Human Caused” are getting to be a normal thing in areas where “Humans” can easily access. The same areas are also pretty easily accessible to the FD so the tend to be handled quickly. North Georgia’s big fire, the “Rough Ridge Fire” is being chalked up to a lightning strike on Oct. 16. Along with the fires in NC that one has been fouling the normally clear fall air on an on-again off-again basis for a couple weeks. My folks retired to a cabin less than five miles south of Rough Ridge and have had no break. I check the satellite images in the am to see how nasty it’s going to be down here but Mom now dons basically a promask to walk her dogs, not a pretty picture, trust me.

  4. Tennessee Budd

    Sorry, Hognose, but Tennessee doesn’t have a Harlan County. There’s a Harlan County, KY; Chattanooga is in Hamilton County, TN.

  5. dragon6actual

    “He likes to do Facebook videos and have people follow him on his ‘weather forecast,’

    Or “weatherman forecast”…

    1. Hognose Post author

      Showing your age, there, Dragon. To remember the Weathermen, you had to be there, since the media has subsequently disappeared them. What was the syntax? “Ayers unperson. Substitute Obama”?

      1. dragon6actual

        Indeed Hognose. There may be snow on the roof, but there’s still a fire in the furnace.

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