A Note to Hollywood

There's nothing in the scope for today, dammit.

There’s nothing in the scope for today, dammit.

Dear Hollywood Producer and Money Power Types:

Shalom! (Mel says you’re all Jewish, so we want to start off on the right foot and all that).

Please, if you’re going to run mountains of advertisements for a movie (like, say, American Sniper, just for an example), don’t lie to your would-be customers (like, say, Kid) but putting a release date (25 December) that’s only the release date for two theaters in Turkmenistan or someplace as a way to manipulate the Oscar voters. The real release date is 16 January, and we are stuck having to replan a day around a disappointed Kid (who can’t get onto the PlayStation Network, either).

Speaking of which, New Zealand entrepreneur Kim Dotcom (née Schmitz, IIRC), reportedly paid a ransom to the lizard-boy hackers, but either they didn’t stop attacking, or they just ripped Dotcom off. (Usually, it’s the FBI doing that). But we digress.

We realize that we out here east of the East Coast and therefore not even in Flyover Country (unless you’re on a Great Circle route, say, from New York to Cannes) don’t come up much in the calculations of Hollywood potentates, but you are expecting us to give you money.

Would it kill you to say: “Release date 25 Dec 14, but that’s a fiction to bamboozle the Oscar voters, so chill out ’til 16 Jan 15?” Would it?

And, to digress again, how in the name of Niffelheim do you trust those folks to vote for the Oscar winners? We’ve seen who they vote for in House and Senate races; they’re not exactly illustrating good judgment, unless they’re in the early stages in which it’s won from bad experience consequent to bad judgment.

Ah well, no American Sniper around here. We guess we’ll watch The Interview instead on the tube. Gotta love a bunch of people who take a break from “speaking Truth to Power” to grovel to North Korea, whose GDP is some small fraction of what Sony has lost on the PlayStation outage. You’ll never see them bash anyplace they actually want to sell their stuff… except America.

Kol tuv, for now, Hollywood.

2 thoughts on “A Note to Hollywood

  1. medic09

    Shalom AND kol tuv! Pretty good! Especially that you got it as ‘tuv’ and not ‘tov’ (a common mistake).

    Sorry for Kid’s disappointment, though I know you gave him something to look forward to.

    שלום וכל טוב

Comments are closed.