All women meet new Marine recruit pull-up standards!

Pull-ups? Never mind! C'mon down, girls.

Pull-ups? Never mind! C’mon down, girls.

But before you all celebrate, the way it was done is this: the Marines dropped the standard for the convenience of the majority of women, who could not meet it.

The old standard? Three pull-ups. The new? None. That’s because even with extra training, most Marine women couldn’t do three pull-ups by the end of recruit training. This was much lower than the requirement for men, but only 45% of women Marines could achieve this goal.

So, the USMC has erased the goalposts — quietly, without a press release to the outside world.

Meanwhile, 14 enlisted women entered Marine infantry training. Ten of them failed, three passed. The Marines’ propaganda machine described four as passing, for example in this video report, but was forced to admit that one of the four passed, except for “the combat fitness and the physical fitness tests.” Oh, that kind of “pass”.

Comrades, the chocolate ration has been raised from 30 grams to 20 grams a week! And all women Marines have passed their pull-up test.

10 thoughts on “All women meet new Marine recruit pull-up standards!

  1. Aesop

    It’s helpful to note that Commandant @$$clown has successfully determined that no upper body strength whatsoever is required for female Marines, thus ensuring that all the heavy lifting in the Corps (literal and figurative) will be done by the men, pretty much exactly as has been the case since 1775.

    (If not needing to lift anything as heavy as their own bodies, ever, explains their job description, one wonders why the USMC doesn’t just go all the way and eliminate women from the USMC budget entirely…? Now that homosexuality isn’t a bar for service, butch women with an effeminate perspective and a snappy fashion sense would seem to be redundant in the 21st century military. As a bonus, the PT pull-up standards for gay men are helpfully the same as they are for straight men, and they can’t become suddenly non-deployable through (in)convenient pregnancies. Win-win.)

    At least ending the charade has that out in the open, once and for all.

    Lame-Us Amos better brush up on his medical terminology: he’s going to have to start pitching for appointment as the next Surgeon General when his commandanting gig times out, otherwise he’s going to have to depend on Obamacare for the surgery to remove his head from up HopeyDopey’s @$$ all the way to his knees when his term of disservice is ended.

    No word yet on whether he’s clinched the next award of the Oswald-Murtha Cup for Most Distinguished Ex-Marine, but he’s so far ahead of the competition, notably while still wearing the uniform, that it’s doubtful anyone else could catch up short of the Marine WO on the duty rotation a the White House handing the nuclear football launch code briefcase to a hostile foreign power while actually on his shift, and using the proceeds thereby either to open up a kiddie porn film production company, or a company to manufacture cluster bombs and landmines that look like children’s toys, candy, and full soda bottles.
    At that, it’d be a tight race.

    1. Bill K

      There is an alternative: To turn Ann into Ann-drone, my daughter the pharmacist suggests testosterone enanthate, 200 mg IM q2 weeks.
      Problem solved. Go Nads! And she’ll no longer get hysterical, though she might get testy.

  2. WellSeasonedFool

    WTF? When I went through Army basic 50 years ago, there was a chinning bar by the mess hall door. No pull up, no chow. By the end of basic the requirement was five, knuckles forward.

    1. Aesop

      That standard, applied to women, would see an approximate 45-75% death rate due to starvation in the course of a typical 6-13 week basic training period.

      It could be mitigated by dropping them on a medical discharge for unsuitablility when they were too weak to stand up, and the 4-10 women each year who’d pass would certainly be as ferociously physically capable as the bottom 5% of males, but I don’t think downsizing the women’s components servicewide to a platoon-size element in perpetuity is what the Congress had in mind.

      1. "Greg"

        There could be a “one pull up” enlistment requirement to ensure the avoidance of starvation, although that would simply move the female attrition earlier in the acquisition pipeline… now that I think about it, I think most here would agree that would not be a bad thing?

  3. Kirk

    If you want Western women to be successful infantrymen, then you need to start with an intense physical development program about the time they leave toddlerhood. That’s the only way you’re going to manage to get the required bone mass density laid down, and build the foundations for the musculature they’re going to need. We’re talking something not far removed from the sort of training Olympic-caliber gymnasts go through.

    And, even then? You’re never going to get her above the same level of physical endurance, strength, and durability you can get out of taking your typical teenage male and running him through the usual basic training regime.

    Western girls in the military, making them infantry-capable? It simply ain’t cost-effective. It’s that simple. We already know the results of the experiment that we’re about to run, and it’s a complete waste of time.

    The morons behind this have other motivations, other objectives in mind than pure military effectiveness. We ain’t running short of fit young males to make Infantry soldiers out of.

  4. DAN III

    There is a simple answer to the female in the military issue. Get rid of them. Don’t allow them to enlist. Matter of fact, they STILL aren’t required to register for the draft but 18 year old males are.

    Get rid of them. They belong in a kitchen baking cookies.

  5. RobRoySimmons

    It will take some deftness but this bit of silliness can be erased and sent down the memory hole with other failed social engineering schemes.

    But it will take being the one who moves the goal posts not being a typical reactionary griper.

    “Come on Pvt. Splittail you can do one more, we know you can do it, do it for the Corps”, and say it with a smile. Day after day after miserable day, what is not to love about that?

      1. RobRoySimmons

        50 years old here and yes it is. I’m old enough to remember when reactionaries were the adults, now they are like grandpa reliving his second childhood while being sat down in a bean bag chair.

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