We’ve covered cop uses of force that went bad before, and we’ve covered cats that were shot by self-propelled sphincters in humanoid form before. But we never thought that these two perennial Lord Love a Duck storylines would ever merge. Obviously we underestimated the pathologies of the age.
We’re sure that Police Chief Jim Kohler of little Boerne, Texas, would rather see his department in the news for some more noble reason. Unfortunately, that’s not what the Fates had cued up for him this week:
Police in Boerne say Officer Lance Deleon was not on duty when the cat named Bobby was wounded. Police Chief Jim Kohler says the cat was shot using a crossbow.
Officials with South Texas Veterinary Specialists say the 2-year-old male cat has been treated for a punctured lung and broken front right leg. Vets say Bobby is expected to recover after being shot Tuesday.
Another news story at KSBY has a few more details:
“I didn’t think we’d see him alive,” said Natalie Brunner, whose eyes welled up with tears.
Brunner and her husband and children showered the cat with hugs and kisses. She was outside Tuesday evening and came to Bobby’s rescue.
“I heard this swoosh noise, like a swish, and I heard clawing at the back of our fence,” Brunner explained. “I didn’t see Bobby crest the fence. I saw an arrow and then it quickly disappeared.”
Alarmed, she ran for the fence and jumped up to see what had happened.
“Our neighbor was on top of him and he had an arrow sticking out,” she said. “All he said was there was no collar on him and he was in my plants. That was all. We’ve never met the man before.”
Bobby the cat is probably going to need further surgery. If he were a dog he probably wouldn’t go back in Officer DeLeon’s yard, but our experience of cats is that their walnut-sized brains can’t process this, and if it weren’t for Crazy Cat Ladies the species would have died, of more curiosity than sense, long, long ago. But basically, the cat’s going to be OK. The cop, not so much. The Brunners told reporters that they still support their local police, and don’t think the actions of this one knucklehead reflect on cops in general. That’s got to make Chief Kohler breathe a sigh of relief.
The following sermon is probably wasted on the sort of person who defends his aspidistras from the neighbor’s tabby with his trusty Barnett, but we’ll try anyway. If you don’t like cats, don’t get a cat. Likewise, if you’re in Texas and want to try out a new crossbow, we hear they’re having a problem with wild pigs. Both are four-legged animals that some people don’t like, but only one is likely to (1) taste good and (2) earn you the thanks of farmers. (Plus, eating pork inoculates you against Islam, an infection that Churchill Himself compared to rabies. You can’t say that about chowing down on felix catus. In fact, it’s probably haram).
Now, the unfortunate fact that Lance DeLeon, the neighbor who shot the cat, happens to be a cop is not a reflection on cops in general, something Mrs Brunner clearly grasps. Cops are selected from among the fallen human race and they have their pro rata percentage of, fill in the blank, let’s just say people you’d rather not have as neighbors. But one thing, a cop of all people should know how to handle an animal complaint. Do you even get through a shift in a rural PD without referring some citizen to the animal control line?